Thursday, October 30, 2008

a sunburn

These train conversations are passing me by And I don't have nothing to say...

The other night, Jared called and set the phone down on the piano so i could hear his rendition of Raining in Baltimore.

it was a good feeling - to hear him crooning out a mellow melancholy tune while thinking about how much I miss him. I guess that I should. three thousand five-hundred miles away. what would you change if you could?

maybe things aren't going so well in parts of my life - but I do have a big love... I have a lot of great big loves in my life - my friends - the people who have seen me at my best, and seen me at my worst... weighed the options and chosen to stay.

I haven't had much to say for a long time.. work and school have been getting the best of me and I hate that... because there is so much more.

I live backwards - I've known this for awhile now.
certainly the best days I've had in my life to this point are pretty far removed in the past.
sometimes there's sadness in living backwards and imaging all of the "if only" moments, but today I live backwards and I savor. I think of days and nights in Burnett Park and know it will always be a happy place in the middle of the city for me. I think of hoblitzelle and time spent soul-searching.

laying on the grass with Paul in front of the stockyards museum feeling the sun on my skin and the warmth of friends in my midst.

a good friend who sent me a homemade witch for halloween... and showed back up in my life after a long time gone.

thanks for the phone call...
and thanks for the raincoat